To Whom it may Concern: Seriously, WTF? Grabbing a gun because you were kicked out of a bar? WTF is wrong with you? Grabbing a gun to save a child or to hold off ravening hordes of looters that I can see, but because you were kicked out of a bar is just plain retarded. Thankfully no one was hurt physically, emotionally and mentally may be a different story.
To Whom it may Concern: Thanks for inviting me out for dinner and an evening of fun and excitement. Even considering what happened, it was a better evening than sitting at home.
To Whom it may Concern: Quitting smoking sucks, even with Chantix.Moral of the story: Don't ever start.
To Whom it may Concern: Stop being Crazy.
To Whom it may Concern: J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets! I'm sure B is quite Happy even though the Jets had to take down The Pats to get to the AFC Championship.
To Whom it may Concern: I tried Listening to the 2 songs you told me about: The first one by Mr. Travis I had to stop before my ears started bleeding. The second by Mr. Strait was much better.
To Whom it may Concern: Deer Suck.
To Whom it may Concern: Sometimes one just needs the right soundtrack for life
To Whom it may Concern: Steaks were hella good!!
To Whom it may Concern: Illusions are sometimes better than reality, but very rarely.
To Whom it may Concern:
So this show is about a bunch of retarded chadbags and mean bitches who all hail from Jersey?
Yeah I get that it is a dramatic disaster and it's hard to look away from a train wreck.
I see the parallel with The Real World, but this is like The Real World's bastard offspring with Tony Soprano as the father and some coked up street walker.
Ok, I can see why you watch this show, it's like America's Funniest Home Videos, it's hilarious when it's happening to someone else.
I've got to get my DTF o'meter checked.
Yeah, I'll be watching it again. Stoopid Jersey Shore
To Whom it may Concern: Ever Wonder Why?
To Whom it may Concern: I cannot believe I am forced To root for the Bears and Jay Cutler. Mr. Cutler is the Poster Child for Chadbags everywhere. That being said at least he isn't wearing green and gold, playing for the Cheddar Monkeys.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
To Whom it May Concern
Time yet again for a collection of random thoughts and musings from the previous week.
To Whom it May Concern: I always wondered if you went commando when wearing those pants. Now I know and knowing is half the battle.
To Whom it May Concern: You can spread all the blame you want, but getting a political pundit to take responsibility for anything is an up hill battle.
To Whom it May Concern: What do school bus drivers do between the time they drop the kids off at school and pick them up?
To Whom it May Concern: I do indeed believe that you have more lines than a notebook. If you need a place to party let me know, dependent upon your mothers permission of course.
To Whom it May Concern: Example where I think the original is inferior to the cover version (From the totally kickass film "Donny Darko")
To Whom it May Concern: Idiocracy is the wave of the future.
To Whom it May Concern:First shots fired in the Second American Civil War or Lunatic Lone Gunman? I especially like the part where Gabby Giffords opponent held a fund raiser where the main draw was being able to shoot military small arms. Link. The Article is about Half way down.
To Whom it May Concern: I could sit here all day and listen to you talk about your lesbian fetish, but I really should do some work. WTF? Good thing I didn't say that aloud.
To Whom it May Concern: Your brother needs your help. He may deny it, he may run away from it, and he may make it near impossible do so, but you know he needs it.
To Whom it May Concern: How much longer do I have to listen to 89.3 the Current before I'm considered a hipster? Because, Seriously, like you know, I'm not patient and stuff.
To Whom it May Concern: Snow in Texas? Snowing as in actual accumulation of frozen precipitation upon the ground? Thought that didn't happen in the southlands. I better ask to be sure.
To Whom it May Concern: Exitus Acta Probat?
To Whom it May Concern:
No I'm pretty sure robbery falls pretty squarely under the category of morally unethical.
Yes, even if the proceeds are then dispersed to the poor and indigent. Action B does not negate the the ethical responsibility for Action A.
Because Robin Hood and his Merry Men, sounds better than Crusher Steve and his Armed Hoodlums
Look I'm saying that a bunch of bandits with the right P.R. firm can have people looking the other way as long as they get a part of that money.
To Whom it May Concern: Diversus est Bonus
To Whom it May Concern: Wii is pretty badass. Wipeout seems like a kickass show.
To Whom it May Concern: It's all right, there is always tomorrow. Hakuna Matata
Mix
To Whom it May Concern: I always wondered if you went commando when wearing those pants. Now I know and knowing is half the battle.
To Whom it May Concern: You can spread all the blame you want, but getting a political pundit to take responsibility for anything is an up hill battle.
To Whom it May Concern: What do school bus drivers do between the time they drop the kids off at school and pick them up?
To Whom it May Concern: I do indeed believe that you have more lines than a notebook. If you need a place to party let me know, dependent upon your mothers permission of course.
To Whom it May Concern: Example where I think the original is inferior to the cover version (From the totally kickass film "Donny Darko")
To Whom it May Concern: Idiocracy is the wave of the future.
To Whom it May Concern:First shots fired in the Second American Civil War or Lunatic Lone Gunman? I especially like the part where Gabby Giffords opponent held a fund raiser where the main draw was being able to shoot military small arms. Link. The Article is about Half way down.
To Whom it May Concern: I could sit here all day and listen to you talk about your lesbian fetish, but I really should do some work. WTF? Good thing I didn't say that aloud.
To Whom it May Concern: Your brother needs your help. He may deny it, he may run away from it, and he may make it near impossible do so, but you know he needs it.
To Whom it May Concern: How much longer do I have to listen to 89.3 the Current before I'm considered a hipster? Because, Seriously, like you know, I'm not patient and stuff.
To Whom it May Concern: Snow in Texas? Snowing as in actual accumulation of frozen precipitation upon the ground? Thought that didn't happen in the southlands. I better ask to be sure.
To Whom it May Concern: Exitus Acta Probat?
To Whom it May Concern:
No I'm pretty sure robbery falls pretty squarely under the category of morally unethical.
Yes, even if the proceeds are then dispersed to the poor and indigent. Action B does not negate the the ethical responsibility for Action A.
Because Robin Hood and his Merry Men, sounds better than Crusher Steve and his Armed Hoodlums
Look I'm saying that a bunch of bandits with the right P.R. firm can have people looking the other way as long as they get a part of that money.
To Whom it May Concern: Diversus est Bonus
To Whom it May Concern: Wii is pretty badass. Wipeout seems like a kickass show.
To Whom it May Concern: It's all right, there is always tomorrow. Hakuna Matata
Monday, January 10, 2011
Still Single but . . .
Yep Guess that makes this the Chronicles of Nerdom Part 3
My cousin recently made a faux face book post that stated: "My new years resolution...be more of a douchebag; because for some unknown reason chicks love douchebags."
His post provoked some thought in my own melon, and I found that while not conclusively true, does seem to have an element of truth to it.
In part because one of the three resolutions I made is to get myself more active in the world, including dating, I present to you reasons why women should consider a relationship with a Geek/Nerd. (Though I guess it applies the other way as well)
Geeks are passionate: A geek is someone that is obsessive or passionate about the things that interest them, including the person they are dating.
Geeks aren’t cheaters: Your geek will be passionate about you, and tend to stay loyal. They’re also usually not socially adept enough to carry on an affair..
Geeks are attentive: If you want someone who will dote on you and make sure that you’re always happy, a geek just might be able to give you that.
Your geek won’t be a jerk in public: Geeks tend to be quiet, not loud and annoying.
Geeks care more about happiness than traditional status: Geeks weren’t the cool kids in school, often choosing academics over sports and other activities that would make them popular. That means that they can resist the desire to look good for others, and choose your happiness instead.
Geeks have good sex: Geeks are passionate about nearly everything they do, including sex. That means that geeks make very attentive lovers who work to make sure you’re pleased.
It’s easy to make them happy: Geeks are often very simple creatures with transparent desires. You can often brighten their day just by bringing them a new geek toy or showing interest in their favorite new obscure activity.
Geeks are not hard to find: Let’s face it, there are lots of geeks out there and not a lot of demand for them, so they are ripe for the picking.
They’ll support your passions: Geeks are passionate, so they understand when you obsess over a new hobby or business venture.
Geeks enjoy creativity in bed: With a geek, you can try out new ideas in the bedroom, like cosplay and comic fantasies..
A Geek will be grateful to have you: In general, geeks don’t get a lot of dates, so they are often much more appreciative of your affection.
Geeks can be romantic: Although their idea of romance might be a blog post professing their love, geeks will go to great lengths to show they care.
There are lots of good ones out there: Geeks tend to not be very active in the dating field, so there are plenty to choose from.
Geeks are easy to buy gifts for: It’s easy to know what a geek wants-it’s on their Amazon wish list, or they’ve been openly obsessing about it for months.
They’ll remember important dates: Most geeks are pretty organized and have good memory skills, so they’ll never forget your anniversary or birthday.
Your geek will introduce you to new things: If you’re not a geek, dating one will open up a completely new world for you. Although the geek world may seem strange, you just might find that there are parts of it that interest you.
Geeks can tell you about awesome movies: Your geek may not be interested in the latest blockbuster unless it’s based on a comic book or game, but they can introduce you to obscure and interesting movies.
Geeks aren’t concerned with social norms: Geeks don’t play a lot of the silly social games that other people do.
Their friends are nice: Geeks hang out with other geeks, so their friends will be just as sweet and polite as they are.
They don’t care if you have a weird family: Geeks are almost always just a little weird, so they’ll lovingly accept your quirky family and probably fit right in.
A geek will impress your family: Geeks show off for parents really well, as they often have good jobs, manners, and smarts.
Geeks pay attention to detail: Your geek will remember all of the little things that you love and hate.
They are intelligent: Geeks are often well read and well educated, so they are smart and can carry on an intelligent conversation.
They’re educated: As an educated person, your geek will have something interesting and intelligent to talk about, whether you actually understand it or not
They’re well informed: Geeks like to stay on top of news and current events.
Geeks have wonderful imaginations: Geeks are always finding new and creative activities.
They have a lot going on inside their minds: Geeks have a huge internal world to tap into once you’re in their trust.
They respect grammar: Geeks tend to be perfectionists, and this habit extends to grammar.
They’re not jerks: Although geeks have a lot to be proud of, they’re almost never full of themselves.
They make excellent parents: Your geek can tutor your kids effectively and expand their horizons of knowledge. They also make excellent role models for children.
Geeks are slow to judge: Geeks are often judged themselves, so you won’t find that they are quick to judge you.
Geeks are respectful: As intelligent people, geeks know well enough to be polite and respectful, even if they don’t always understand etiquette and social norms.
Geeks give a damn: Geeks just try harder and are more intense than regular people.
Geeks are straightforward: Playing games just isn’t logical, so you won’t generally find geeks playing mind games.
Geeks are good problem solvers: If you have a problem, your geek will work obsessively to help you fix things.
Mix
My cousin recently made a faux face book post that stated: "My new years resolution...be more of a douchebag; because for some unknown reason chicks love douchebags."
His post provoked some thought in my own melon, and I found that while not conclusively true, does seem to have an element of truth to it.
In part because one of the three resolutions I made is to get myself more active in the world, including dating, I present to you reasons why women should consider a relationship with a Geek/Nerd. (Though I guess it applies the other way as well)
Geeks are passionate: A geek is someone that is obsessive or passionate about the things that interest them, including the person they are dating.
Geeks aren’t cheaters: Your geek will be passionate about you, and tend to stay loyal. They’re also usually not socially adept enough to carry on an affair..
Geeks are attentive: If you want someone who will dote on you and make sure that you’re always happy, a geek just might be able to give you that.
Your geek won’t be a jerk in public: Geeks tend to be quiet, not loud and annoying.
Geeks care more about happiness than traditional status: Geeks weren’t the cool kids in school, often choosing academics over sports and other activities that would make them popular. That means that they can resist the desire to look good for others, and choose your happiness instead.
Geeks have good sex: Geeks are passionate about nearly everything they do, including sex. That means that geeks make very attentive lovers who work to make sure you’re pleased.
It’s easy to make them happy: Geeks are often very simple creatures with transparent desires. You can often brighten their day just by bringing them a new geek toy or showing interest in their favorite new obscure activity.
Geeks are not hard to find: Let’s face it, there are lots of geeks out there and not a lot of demand for them, so they are ripe for the picking.
They’ll support your passions: Geeks are passionate, so they understand when you obsess over a new hobby or business venture.
Geeks enjoy creativity in bed: With a geek, you can try out new ideas in the bedroom, like cosplay and comic fantasies..
A Geek will be grateful to have you: In general, geeks don’t get a lot of dates, so they are often much more appreciative of your affection.
Geeks can be romantic: Although their idea of romance might be a blog post professing their love, geeks will go to great lengths to show they care.
There are lots of good ones out there: Geeks tend to not be very active in the dating field, so there are plenty to choose from.
Geeks are easy to buy gifts for: It’s easy to know what a geek wants-it’s on their Amazon wish list, or they’ve been openly obsessing about it for months.
They’ll remember important dates: Most geeks are pretty organized and have good memory skills, so they’ll never forget your anniversary or birthday.
Your geek will introduce you to new things: If you’re not a geek, dating one will open up a completely new world for you. Although the geek world may seem strange, you just might find that there are parts of it that interest you.
Geeks can tell you about awesome movies: Your geek may not be interested in the latest blockbuster unless it’s based on a comic book or game, but they can introduce you to obscure and interesting movies.
Geeks aren’t concerned with social norms: Geeks don’t play a lot of the silly social games that other people do.
Their friends are nice: Geeks hang out with other geeks, so their friends will be just as sweet and polite as they are.
They don’t care if you have a weird family: Geeks are almost always just a little weird, so they’ll lovingly accept your quirky family and probably fit right in.
A geek will impress your family: Geeks show off for parents really well, as they often have good jobs, manners, and smarts.
Geeks pay attention to detail: Your geek will remember all of the little things that you love and hate.
They are intelligent: Geeks are often well read and well educated, so they are smart and can carry on an intelligent conversation.
They’re educated: As an educated person, your geek will have something interesting and intelligent to talk about, whether you actually understand it or not
They’re well informed: Geeks like to stay on top of news and current events.
Geeks have wonderful imaginations: Geeks are always finding new and creative activities.
They have a lot going on inside their minds: Geeks have a huge internal world to tap into once you’re in their trust.
They respect grammar: Geeks tend to be perfectionists, and this habit extends to grammar.
They’re not jerks: Although geeks have a lot to be proud of, they’re almost never full of themselves.
They make excellent parents: Your geek can tutor your kids effectively and expand their horizons of knowledge. They also make excellent role models for children.
Geeks are slow to judge: Geeks are often judged themselves, so you won’t find that they are quick to judge you.
Geeks are respectful: As intelligent people, geeks know well enough to be polite and respectful, even if they don’t always understand etiquette and social norms.
Geeks give a damn: Geeks just try harder and are more intense than regular people.
Geeks are straightforward: Playing games just isn’t logical, so you won’t generally find geeks playing mind games.
Geeks are good problem solvers: If you have a problem, your geek will work obsessively to help you fix things.
Mix
Chronicles of Nerdom Part 2
What is an Introvert you might ask?
Well I am sure there are a number of good sites you can find on the Internetz to tell you.
This however is my answer:
Between the time you are first wheeled out in your stroller, and the time you are last wheeled out on a stretcher, you are bound to roll over a large, dull object known as an Introvert. Such near collisions are unavoidable because Introverts always travel down the road of life headed in the wrong direction . . . with their lights turned off. And they never, ever warn you of their approach by blowing their horns.
Introverts are individuals who spend a lot of time alone, thinking about themselves. Unfortunately, the subject is so limited that they have plenty of idle time left over to come out and get in other peoples way. This most often happens in libraries, where they occupy your favorite seat memorizing chess books in case they should ever be asked to play.
Not that an Introvert would ever get in your way on purpose. It's just that he seldom notices what's happening around him because he's concentrating so hard on how it makes him feel. He only remembers being at the Super Bowl because that's were the beer vendor made fun of him for not having exact change. He only remembers the 2000 election because that's when he didn't vote for fear of doing something stupid at the polling place. And he only remembers Spring Break in Florida because that's where he heard somebody laugh at the way he looked in swim trunks.
It's strange how Introverts always think other people are noticing them. In actuality, they come across with the same kind of impact that makes Franklin Pierce the one president you always forget about, and the Buffalo Bills the one NFL team you always leave off the list, and Ted Kennedy's fellow Senator from Massachusetts, the one whose name you can never remember, even if your from Massachusetts. Truth be told, if Introverts didn't think about themselves so much, they'd never be thought of at all.
Still, it's easy to spot an Introvert in a crowd. . . if you can imagine any conceivable reason for wanting to. He's the one working the cross word puzzle, in the corner of a crowded bar. He's the one hesitating to turn in a perfect exam paper because he's ashamed of his penmanship. He's the one ordering "super size" at the golden arches to celebrate his birthday. And he's the one in group therapy whose main problem is a fear of speaking up in group therapy.
But deep down inside, Introverts are much the same as everybody else. They have their driving ambitions. . . to read all of Shakespeare's plays and all the Harvard Classics before they die. They have their smoldering desires. . . to own the biggest collection of Vatican Air Mail Stamps. They have their dreams of glory. . . to win national acclaim for being able to recite all the state capitals in four minutes flat. They even have their fantasies of sin . . . to flog Fran Drescher until she tearfully agrees to shut up and become an Introvert.
No doubt about it. An Introvert is more than just another highly forgettable face masking emotions that run the gamut from hardly any to none at all. An Introvert is also Sincerity drowning in a moist handshake, Flaming Passion swathed in a grey wool muffler, Steel Nerves risking all at solitaire, Daredevil Courage revving up a '79 gremlin, Firm Resolve proclaimed in an apologetic mumble, Attentiveness floating on a cloud of preoccupation, and Thoughtful Silence. . . lots and lots of Thoughtful Silence.
Above all, the Introvert possesses the gift of Dedicated Perseverance. Who else assembles a ten-thousand piece jigsaw puzzle of a Star Destroyer suitable for the mantle? Who else spends every Christmas exposing himself to the flu so he'll have an honest excuse for staying home on New Year's Eve? Who else drives from Toledo to Cleveland by way of Omaha rather than beg for a road map at a gas station? And who else wastes his whole lunch hour riding home on the bus just so he can use his own bathroom?
Quite obviously, the world needs Introverts. Somebody has to write those 600 page biographies of medieval French kings. Somebody has to be the night watchman for the Navy's mothball fleet. Somebody has to write the jokes that President's say to show their sense of humor. Somebody has to perpetuate the art of engraving the Lord's prayer on the head of a pin. And, most importantly, somebody has to be there pretending to listen while all the Extroverts on earth shoot off their big mouths.
Some people tend to feel sorry for Introverts. This is a total waste of sympathy, when you stop to think about it. After all, nobody ever calls upon the Introvert to coach the neighborhood soccer team, or head up a charity event, or ruin his Sunday filling out a golf foursome. He is permitted to go his own way, doing what he pleases. And the only thing society ever asks of the Introvert is that he keep uttering his familiar cry that brings joy to all:
I was just leaving.
Mix
Well I am sure there are a number of good sites you can find on the Internetz to tell you.
This however is my answer:
Between the time you are first wheeled out in your stroller, and the time you are last wheeled out on a stretcher, you are bound to roll over a large, dull object known as an Introvert. Such near collisions are unavoidable because Introverts always travel down the road of life headed in the wrong direction . . . with their lights turned off. And they never, ever warn you of their approach by blowing their horns.
Introverts are individuals who spend a lot of time alone, thinking about themselves. Unfortunately, the subject is so limited that they have plenty of idle time left over to come out and get in other peoples way. This most often happens in libraries, where they occupy your favorite seat memorizing chess books in case they should ever be asked to play.
Not that an Introvert would ever get in your way on purpose. It's just that he seldom notices what's happening around him because he's concentrating so hard on how it makes him feel. He only remembers being at the Super Bowl because that's were the beer vendor made fun of him for not having exact change. He only remembers the 2000 election because that's when he didn't vote for fear of doing something stupid at the polling place. And he only remembers Spring Break in Florida because that's where he heard somebody laugh at the way he looked in swim trunks.
It's strange how Introverts always think other people are noticing them. In actuality, they come across with the same kind of impact that makes Franklin Pierce the one president you always forget about, and the Buffalo Bills the one NFL team you always leave off the list, and Ted Kennedy's fellow Senator from Massachusetts, the one whose name you can never remember, even if your from Massachusetts. Truth be told, if Introverts didn't think about themselves so much, they'd never be thought of at all.
Still, it's easy to spot an Introvert in a crowd. . . if you can imagine any conceivable reason for wanting to. He's the one working the cross word puzzle, in the corner of a crowded bar. He's the one hesitating to turn in a perfect exam paper because he's ashamed of his penmanship. He's the one ordering "super size" at the golden arches to celebrate his birthday. And he's the one in group therapy whose main problem is a fear of speaking up in group therapy.
But deep down inside, Introverts are much the same as everybody else. They have their driving ambitions. . . to read all of Shakespeare's plays and all the Harvard Classics before they die. They have their smoldering desires. . . to own the biggest collection of Vatican Air Mail Stamps. They have their dreams of glory. . . to win national acclaim for being able to recite all the state capitals in four minutes flat. They even have their fantasies of sin . . . to flog Fran Drescher until she tearfully agrees to shut up and become an Introvert.
No doubt about it. An Introvert is more than just another highly forgettable face masking emotions that run the gamut from hardly any to none at all. An Introvert is also Sincerity drowning in a moist handshake, Flaming Passion swathed in a grey wool muffler, Steel Nerves risking all at solitaire, Daredevil Courage revving up a '79 gremlin, Firm Resolve proclaimed in an apologetic mumble, Attentiveness floating on a cloud of preoccupation, and Thoughtful Silence. . . lots and lots of Thoughtful Silence.
Above all, the Introvert possesses the gift of Dedicated Perseverance. Who else assembles a ten-thousand piece jigsaw puzzle of a Star Destroyer suitable for the mantle? Who else spends every Christmas exposing himself to the flu so he'll have an honest excuse for staying home on New Year's Eve? Who else drives from Toledo to Cleveland by way of Omaha rather than beg for a road map at a gas station? And who else wastes his whole lunch hour riding home on the bus just so he can use his own bathroom?
Quite obviously, the world needs Introverts. Somebody has to write those 600 page biographies of medieval French kings. Somebody has to be the night watchman for the Navy's mothball fleet. Somebody has to write the jokes that President's say to show their sense of humor. Somebody has to perpetuate the art of engraving the Lord's prayer on the head of a pin. And, most importantly, somebody has to be there pretending to listen while all the Extroverts on earth shoot off their big mouths.
Some people tend to feel sorry for Introverts. This is a total waste of sympathy, when you stop to think about it. After all, nobody ever calls upon the Introvert to coach the neighborhood soccer team, or head up a charity event, or ruin his Sunday filling out a golf foursome. He is permitted to go his own way, doing what he pleases. And the only thing society ever asks of the Introvert is that he keep uttering his familiar cry that brings joy to all:
I was just leaving.
Mix
You Might be a Nerd if . . .
This post began as an attempt to explain some of the lingo associated with my hobbies. Then I realized that if you wanted to know that Bolters have a 24 inch range, a Strength of 4, and an AP of 5 or if it is possible to have a half drow Nightblade with a Prestige class you would probably ask. Instead it has developed into something a bit different.
You probably know a geek (besides me). Over the years we have been known as Nerds, Geeks, Dorks, Spazs, and the thankfully dying out Dweeb.
The various definitions i have found over the internetz include:
nerd (nûrd)
n. Slang
1. A foolish, inept, or unattractive person.
2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
Geek
geek (geek)
n. Slang
1.a. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
b. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
2. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.
tr.v. geeked, geek·ing,
To excite emotionally: as in I'm geeked about that new video game.
Now I do not think I am either Foolish nor Inept, possibly unattractive and clumsy, but What I am is dedicated to my pursuits. If that makes me a Nerd than so be it.
You Might be a Nerd/Geek if:
1. You Enjoy Star Wars perhaps a little too much.
2. You have the Ability to tell what happens in an Episode of Star Trek after seeing the first minute.
3. You have a degree in Engineering, Mathematics, History or Chemistry
4. You are a Musicphile
5. You are a Cinephile
6. You Must possess the latest electronic gadget.
7. Your personal library contains primarily Science Fiction and Fantasy Novels. alternatively; you have a personal library of more than ten books.
8. You make friends by fixing computers
9. You know more than one programming language
10. You have ever emailed or sent a text to a person in the same household as you.
11. You know more people online than in person
12 You think Stephen Hawking is the coolest scientist since Newton or Sagan
13. You own more comic books, graphic novels or manga than is easy to carry or move.
14. You know what manga is.
15. You understand any of the following: Metric System, Quantum Mechanics, or HTML
16. You read Lord of the Rings annually
17. You watch Adult Swim
18. You can calculate the air speed of a coconut laden swallow but cannot figure out how to make anything more complicated than toast.
19. You know what movie is referenced in number 18
20. You appreciate art such as this by my old friend Chris Chamberlain.
or this by Frank F.
or this by Boris V.
21. You think Chess matches should be televised
22. You believe that Risk is a Strategy game for amateurs.
23. You are more comfortable writing someone a letter than actually speaking with them.
24. You consider your self to be an Introvert
25. You play a MMORPG, or even know that it stand for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game
26. You attend the local renaissance fair on an annual basis, especially if in costume.
Now if you exhibit only one or two of these symptoms, relax your not a geek.
If Three to Five of these apply, do not panic there is still time to avoid the planar trap that is Nerdom
If Six or more of these apply: Congratulations! Your a Nerd. or geek if you prefer.
Now some of my more astute friends and fellow nerds may notice there is something completely not listed above. That is because to engage in this activity automatically marks one as a Nerd.
That's Right: playing Dungeons and Dragons, the grand daddy of roleplaying games.
There is a plethora of roleplaying games on the market and to delve into that morass would take far to long.
However I think I shall endeavour to explain exactly what a Roleplaying game is.
Long ago, before movies, television, or the internet, people used to tell stories: Stories of the hunt, legends of the gods and great heroes, or gossip about the neighbors. They would tell these stories aloud, as part of an oral tradition of story telling.
Alas we no longer tell stories- we listen to them. We sit passively and wait to be picked up and carried to the world they describe. We have become slaves to our TV's and Internetz, allowing others to circumscribe our reality. Through the constantly broadcast stories our imaginations are being manipulated for better or for worse.
Roleplaying games are essentially shared stories, Using one's imagination to take control of a character in a fictional setting. Players take responsibility for acting out these roles within a narrative. Did you ever play Cowboys and Indians or House or any of the other innumerable games as a child where your Imagination ran the show. Same thing, except with roleplaying games there are rules and the outcome of actions is often determined by dice.
As you can see, a simple cube with six sides is not enough. There is a random number generator with 4, 8, 10, 12, and 20 sides. The lingo regarding this is quite simple. "Roll 3d8 and tell me the total" translates as "roll the 8 sided dice three times and add the results together.
The "rules" are only as rigid as one wants them to be. Throughout the Years I have mostly been the GM/DM (Game Master/Dungeon Master) sort of the Narrator, the person who helps the story unfold by describing the setting and playing the parts of the non-player characters. We have never let the rules get in the way of a good story, if something isn't covered we make it up on the spot.
I have been playing Dungeons and Dragons for neigh on thirty years. As a young child the game gave form and structure to my imagination. For the first ten years the adventures were always about slaying monsters and stealing the loot. But then as I and my players matured, our games though still about the loot, began to take on more and more aspects of shared storytelling.
Ask Sneak Mike about the Emerald Moon Cheese Factory and you will probably see him wince and then go on a minor diatribe about townies and were-rats. Ask him about Slink's fate or the Talking Mushroom King or how many of his guys have died from drowning. Talk to BT about Ochoa De'la Rosa and his fine privateer vessel, or about what happened to Kibosh and his Boar. The Caruso of Doom may not have survived Wizard's Spring Break but his memory is alive in the Mind of Fenske. Ox is still learning the lessons of not going off into the unknown alone and that dealing with evil artifacts is never a good thing.
Adventures can be "one shot", that is a single story often taking just one night to complete or a "campaign", a series of linked stories. We have almost exclusively played campaigns that have lasted from a few weeks up to two years.
And to further bore you with just how nerdy D&D can be I will try to use our Present Campaign as an Example.
Setting: Xerxen Empire- Imagine a mix of ancient egypt with Aztec influences
Player Characters (PC's)
Nagash Snuchemet- Born into a small noble household, Nagash was suddenly thrust into power with the assassination of his father and brother
Ixus Jinn- Born a slave and raised as a warrior, Ixus struggles with his place in the Empire, even as he defends it from it's enemies.
Kasikial Yodaman - Trained at the Prestigious Xenite Academy, his battle magic is powerful, but dwarfed by his tactical acumen.
Keefer - Spymaster to House Snuchmet and all around shady character.
These four characters are the latest to adventure in the Xerxen Empire, a campaign setting we came up with ourselves circa 1997.
Each Week we have played the Players have further refined who and what their characters are through storytelling. Sure there is dice rolling and the slaying of monsters and cultists, but the underlying truth is we are telling a shared story. So much so that I have began to give each evening's game a "Chapter" title
So far in the continuing adventures we have:
Chapter One: Welcome to the Neighborhood
Chapter Two: Dance, Dance, Dance Revolution
Chapter Three: How I learned to Love the Inquisition
Chapter Four: New Recruits
Chapter Five: That's a Terrible Idea!
Chapter Six: The Ancient Enemy or I Felt up a Goddess!
Chapter Seven: Devrie's is a Conspirator.
There is no "winning", there is always one more treasure chest to open, monster to slay, or bar maiden to be wooed. Technically, there is no losing either as one can always make up a new character. However the loss of a favored character can actually be somewhat hard as one puts an investment in it, especially if the character dies foolishly.
I could go on and on but I can tell with my Nerderific Powers that your eyes have glazed over, or if they haven't they soon will, so get ready for Part 2 of the Chronicles of Nerdom.
You probably know a geek (besides me). Over the years we have been known as Nerds, Geeks, Dorks, Spazs, and the thankfully dying out Dweeb.
The various definitions i have found over the internetz include:
nerd (nûrd)
n. Slang
1. A foolish, inept, or unattractive person.
2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
Geek
geek (geek)
n. Slang
1.a. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
b. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
2. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.
tr.v. geeked, geek·ing,
To excite emotionally: as in I'm geeked about that new video game.
Now I do not think I am either Foolish nor Inept, possibly unattractive and clumsy, but What I am is dedicated to my pursuits. If that makes me a Nerd than so be it.
You Might be a Nerd/Geek if:
1. You Enjoy Star Wars perhaps a little too much.
2. You have the Ability to tell what happens in an Episode of Star Trek after seeing the first minute.
3. You have a degree in Engineering, Mathematics, History or Chemistry
4. You are a Musicphile
5. You are a Cinephile
6. You Must possess the latest electronic gadget.
7. Your personal library contains primarily Science Fiction and Fantasy Novels. alternatively; you have a personal library of more than ten books.
8. You make friends by fixing computers
9. You know more than one programming language
10. You have ever emailed or sent a text to a person in the same household as you.
11. You know more people online than in person
12 You think Stephen Hawking is the coolest scientist since Newton or Sagan
13. You own more comic books, graphic novels or manga than is easy to carry or move.
14. You know what manga is.
15. You understand any of the following: Metric System, Quantum Mechanics, or HTML
16. You read Lord of the Rings annually
17. You watch Adult Swim
18. You can calculate the air speed of a coconut laden swallow but cannot figure out how to make anything more complicated than toast.
19. You know what movie is referenced in number 18
20. You appreciate art such as this by my old friend Chris Chamberlain.
or this by Frank F.
21. You think Chess matches should be televised
22. You believe that Risk is a Strategy game for amateurs.
23. You are more comfortable writing someone a letter than actually speaking with them.
24. You consider your self to be an Introvert
25. You play a MMORPG, or even know that it stand for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game
26. You attend the local renaissance fair on an annual basis, especially if in costume.
Now if you exhibit only one or two of these symptoms, relax your not a geek.
If Three to Five of these apply, do not panic there is still time to avoid the planar trap that is Nerdom
If Six or more of these apply: Congratulations! Your a Nerd. or geek if you prefer.
Now some of my more astute friends and fellow nerds may notice there is something completely not listed above. That is because to engage in this activity automatically marks one as a Nerd.
That's Right: playing Dungeons and Dragons, the grand daddy of roleplaying games.
There is a plethora of roleplaying games on the market and to delve into that morass would take far to long.
However I think I shall endeavour to explain exactly what a Roleplaying game is.
Long ago, before movies, television, or the internet, people used to tell stories: Stories of the hunt, legends of the gods and great heroes, or gossip about the neighbors. They would tell these stories aloud, as part of an oral tradition of story telling.
Alas we no longer tell stories- we listen to them. We sit passively and wait to be picked up and carried to the world they describe. We have become slaves to our TV's and Internetz, allowing others to circumscribe our reality. Through the constantly broadcast stories our imaginations are being manipulated for better or for worse.
Roleplaying games are essentially shared stories, Using one's imagination to take control of a character in a fictional setting. Players take responsibility for acting out these roles within a narrative. Did you ever play Cowboys and Indians or House or any of the other innumerable games as a child where your Imagination ran the show. Same thing, except with roleplaying games there are rules and the outcome of actions is often determined by dice.
The "rules" are only as rigid as one wants them to be. Throughout the Years I have mostly been the GM/DM (Game Master/Dungeon Master) sort of the Narrator, the person who helps the story unfold by describing the setting and playing the parts of the non-player characters. We have never let the rules get in the way of a good story, if something isn't covered we make it up on the spot.
I have been playing Dungeons and Dragons for neigh on thirty years. As a young child the game gave form and structure to my imagination. For the first ten years the adventures were always about slaying monsters and stealing the loot. But then as I and my players matured, our games though still about the loot, began to take on more and more aspects of shared storytelling.
Ask Sneak Mike about the Emerald Moon Cheese Factory and you will probably see him wince and then go on a minor diatribe about townies and were-rats. Ask him about Slink's fate or the Talking Mushroom King or how many of his guys have died from drowning. Talk to BT about Ochoa De'la Rosa and his fine privateer vessel, or about what happened to Kibosh and his Boar. The Caruso of Doom may not have survived Wizard's Spring Break but his memory is alive in the Mind of Fenske. Ox is still learning the lessons of not going off into the unknown alone and that dealing with evil artifacts is never a good thing.
Adventures can be "one shot", that is a single story often taking just one night to complete or a "campaign", a series of linked stories. We have almost exclusively played campaigns that have lasted from a few weeks up to two years.
And to further bore you with just how nerdy D&D can be I will try to use our Present Campaign as an Example.
Setting: Xerxen Empire- Imagine a mix of ancient egypt with Aztec influences
Player Characters (PC's)
Nagash Snuchemet- Born into a small noble household, Nagash was suddenly thrust into power with the assassination of his father and brother
Ixus Jinn- Born a slave and raised as a warrior, Ixus struggles with his place in the Empire, even as he defends it from it's enemies.
Kasikial Yodaman - Trained at the Prestigious Xenite Academy, his battle magic is powerful, but dwarfed by his tactical acumen.
Keefer - Spymaster to House Snuchmet and all around shady character.
These four characters are the latest to adventure in the Xerxen Empire, a campaign setting we came up with ourselves circa 1997.
Each Week we have played the Players have further refined who and what their characters are through storytelling. Sure there is dice rolling and the slaying of monsters and cultists, but the underlying truth is we are telling a shared story. So much so that I have began to give each evening's game a "Chapter" title
So far in the continuing adventures we have:
Chapter One: Welcome to the Neighborhood
Chapter Two: Dance, Dance, Dance Revolution
Chapter Three: How I learned to Love the Inquisition
Chapter Four: New Recruits
Chapter Five: That's a Terrible Idea!
Chapter Six: The Ancient Enemy or I Felt up a Goddess!
Chapter Seven: Devrie's is a Conspirator.
There is no "winning", there is always one more treasure chest to open, monster to slay, or bar maiden to be wooed. Technically, there is no losing either as one can always make up a new character. However the loss of a favored character can actually be somewhat hard as one puts an investment in it, especially if the character dies foolishly.
I could go on and on but I can tell with my Nerderific Powers that your eyes have glazed over, or if they haven't they soon will, so get ready for Part 2 of the Chronicles of Nerdom.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
To Whom it may Concern
Time again for another installment of random thoughts and musings.
To Whom it May Concern: If it is that bad then move. You know you can always crash on my couch.
To Whom it May Concern:Sweet! The 7-9 Seahawks are in the playoffs. To bad they suck and in no way, shape, or form deserve to be there while 3 teams that finished 10-6 are sitting at home.
To Whom it May Concern:
That's right, its mine now. Let the Celebrating Begin!
To Whom it May Concern:Thanks for stopping in at work to visit with me. Sorry I did not get a chance to speak with you more. Though we may live on different continents you are and always will be like a brother to me. P.S. Your wife is totally hawt. The gods must truly smile upon you.
To Whom it May Concern:It was a pleasure to hear from you the other night, hope your "party" went well. I hope your husband's deployment goes well and is over quickly. May the gods stand between him and harm in all the places he must travel.
To Whom it May Concern: I totally have to apply more thought before texting, far to easy for miscommunication.
To Whom it May Concern: Wii time = Fun time
To Whom it May Concern: Thank you for showing me the way
To Whom it May Concern: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
To Whom it May Concern: I really thought I would enjoy time off from school, but it is not quite the same as when I was a kid.
To Whom it May Concern:For What ever reason this song makes me happy, this video with Sponge Bob is just icing on the cake.
To Whom it May Concern:You may believe you are making yourself happy, but in my opinion you are fooling yourself. That empty feeling does not go away so easily. I used alcohol as a means of lessening the pain of that void, it didn't work. I have to believe that one day you too will realize self destructive behavior may make you feel better in the short term, but is no way to live.
To Whom it May Concern: I need to get out more, reality beckons, no matter how mundane it appears to be.
To Whom it May Concern: Thank you for the awesome gifts.
To Whom it May Concern:Really looking forward to my shopping spree, especially with someone who understands fashion and is not color blind. Also I am so glad nobody was seriously hurt.
To Whom it May Concern: If you have doubts, make sure you understand why.
To Whom it May Concern: Its a good thing nobody sees you two on Tuesday mornings except me.
To Whom it May Concern: Sure glad the holidays are done. Probably the roughest month in years.
To Whom it May Concern: Tim Roth is an outstanding actor. I really enjoyed his work as Ted the Bellhop, Ringo, and Mr. Orange. However it is in his television series "Lie to Me" that his talent is on full display.
That is about it for this week. Still working on the Jenna Jameson book review, as I have finally finished reading. In addition working on a piece about hobbies and lingo, a treatise on nerds and geeks, as well as a little something about music.
Mix
To Whom it May Concern: If it is that bad then move. You know you can always crash on my couch.
To Whom it May Concern:Sweet! The 7-9 Seahawks are in the playoffs. To bad they suck and in no way, shape, or form deserve to be there while 3 teams that finished 10-6 are sitting at home.
To Whom it May Concern:
That's right, its mine now. Let the Celebrating Begin!
To Whom it May Concern:Thanks for stopping in at work to visit with me. Sorry I did not get a chance to speak with you more. Though we may live on different continents you are and always will be like a brother to me. P.S. Your wife is totally hawt. The gods must truly smile upon you.
To Whom it May Concern:It was a pleasure to hear from you the other night, hope your "party" went well. I hope your husband's deployment goes well and is over quickly. May the gods stand between him and harm in all the places he must travel.
To Whom it May Concern: I totally have to apply more thought before texting, far to easy for miscommunication.
To Whom it May Concern: Wii time = Fun time
To Whom it May Concern: Thank you for showing me the way
To Whom it May Concern: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
To Whom it May Concern: I really thought I would enjoy time off from school, but it is not quite the same as when I was a kid.
To Whom it May Concern:For What ever reason this song makes me happy, this video with Sponge Bob is just icing on the cake.
To Whom it May Concern:You may believe you are making yourself happy, but in my opinion you are fooling yourself. That empty feeling does not go away so easily. I used alcohol as a means of lessening the pain of that void, it didn't work. I have to believe that one day you too will realize self destructive behavior may make you feel better in the short term, but is no way to live.
To Whom it May Concern: I need to get out more, reality beckons, no matter how mundane it appears to be.
To Whom it May Concern: Thank you for the awesome gifts.
To Whom it May Concern:Really looking forward to my shopping spree, especially with someone who understands fashion and is not color blind. Also I am so glad nobody was seriously hurt.
To Whom it May Concern: If you have doubts, make sure you understand why.
To Whom it May Concern: Its a good thing nobody sees you two on Tuesday mornings except me.
To Whom it May Concern: Sure glad the holidays are done. Probably the roughest month in years.
To Whom it May Concern: Tim Roth is an outstanding actor. I really enjoyed his work as Ted the Bellhop, Ringo, and Mr. Orange. However it is in his television series "Lie to Me" that his talent is on full display.
That is about it for this week. Still working on the Jenna Jameson book review, as I have finally finished reading. In addition working on a piece about hobbies and lingo, a treatise on nerds and geeks, as well as a little something about music.
Mix
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