You Might be a Nerd if . . .

This post began as an attempt to explain some of the lingo associated with my hobbies. Then I realized that if you wanted to know that Bolters have a 24 inch range, a Strength of 4, and an AP of 5 or if it is possible to have a half drow Nightblade with a Prestige class you would probably ask. Instead it has developed into something a bit different.

You probably know a geek (besides me). Over the years we have been known as Nerds, Geeks, Dorks, Spazs, and the thankfully dying out Dweeb.

The various definitions i have found over the internetz include:
nerd (nûrd)
n. Slang
1. A foolish, inept, or unattractive person.
2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

Geek
geek  (geek)
n. Slang
1.a. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
   b. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
2. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.
tr.v. geeked, geek·ing,
To excite emotionally: as in I'm geeked about that new video game.

Now I do not think I am either Foolish nor Inept, possibly unattractive and clumsy, but What I am is dedicated to my pursuits. If that makes me a Nerd than so be it.

You Might be a Nerd/Geek if:

1. You Enjoy Star Wars perhaps a little too much.

2. You have the Ability to tell what happens in an Episode of Star Trek after seeing the first minute.

3. You have a degree in Engineering, Mathematics, History or Chemistry

4. You are a Musicphile

5. You are  a Cinephile

6. You Must possess the latest electronic gadget.

7. Your personal library contains primarily Science Fiction and Fantasy Novels. alternatively; you have a personal library of more than ten books.

8. You make friends by fixing computers

9. You know more than one programming language

10. You have ever emailed or sent a text to a person in the same household as you.

11. You know more people online than in person

12 You think Stephen Hawking is the coolest scientist since Newton or Sagan

13. You own more comic books, graphic novels or manga than is easy to carry or move.

14. You know what manga is.

15. You understand any of the following: Metric System, Quantum Mechanics, or HTML

16. You read Lord of the Rings annually

17. You watch Adult Swim

18. You can calculate the air speed of a coconut laden swallow but cannot figure out how to make anything more complicated than toast.

19. You know what movie is referenced in number 18

20. You appreciate art such as this by my old friend Chris Chamberlain.

or  this by Frank F.

 or this by Boris V.

21. You think Chess matches should be televised

22. You believe that Risk is a Strategy game for amateurs.

23. You are more comfortable writing someone a letter than actually speaking with them.

24. You consider your self to be an Introvert

25. You play a MMORPG, or even know that it stand for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game

26. You attend the local renaissance fair on an annual basis, especially if in costume.


Now if you exhibit only one or two of these symptoms, relax your not a geek.

If Three to Five of these apply, do not panic there is still time to avoid the planar trap that is Nerdom

If Six or more of these apply: Congratulations! Your a Nerd. or geek if you prefer.

Now some of my more astute friends and fellow nerds may notice there is something completely not listed above. That is because to engage in this activity automatically marks one as a Nerd.

That's Right: playing Dungeons and Dragons, the grand daddy of roleplaying games.

There is a plethora of roleplaying games on the market and to delve into that morass would take far to long.
However I think I shall endeavour to explain exactly what a Roleplaying game is.

Long ago, before movies, television, or the internet, people used to tell stories: Stories of the hunt, legends of the gods and great heroes, or gossip about the neighbors. They would tell these stories aloud, as part of an oral tradition of story telling.

Alas we no longer tell stories- we listen to them. We sit passively and wait to be picked up and carried to the world they describe. We have become slaves to our TV's and Internetz, allowing others to circumscribe our reality. Through the constantly broadcast stories our imaginations are being manipulated for better or for worse.

Roleplaying games are essentially shared stories, Using one's imagination to take control of a character in a fictional setting. Players take responsibility for acting out these roles within a narrative. Did you ever play Cowboys and Indians or House or any of the other innumerable games as a child where your Imagination ran the show. Same thing, except with roleplaying games there are rules and the outcome of actions is often determined by dice.

As you can see, a simple cube with six sides is not enough. There is a random number generator with 4, 8, 10, 12, and 20 sides. The lingo regarding this is quite simple. "Roll 3d8 and tell me the total" translates as "roll  the 8 sided dice three times and add the results together.

The "rules" are only as rigid as one wants them to be. Throughout the Years I have mostly been the GM/DM (Game Master/Dungeon Master) sort of the Narrator, the person who helps the story unfold by describing the setting and playing the parts of the non-player characters. We have never let the rules get in the way of a good story, if something isn't covered we make it up on the spot.

I have been playing Dungeons and Dragons for neigh on thirty years. As a young child the game gave form and structure to my imagination. For the first ten years the adventures were always about slaying monsters and stealing the loot. But then as I and my players matured, our games though still about the loot, began to take on more and more aspects of shared storytelling.

Ask Sneak Mike about the Emerald Moon Cheese Factory and you will probably see him wince and then go on a minor diatribe about townies and were-rats. Ask him about Slink's fate or the Talking Mushroom King or how many of his guys have died from drowning. Talk to BT about Ochoa De'la Rosa and his fine privateer vessel, or about what happened to Kibosh and his Boar. The Caruso of Doom may not have survived Wizard's Spring Break but his memory is alive in the Mind of Fenske. Ox is still learning the lessons of not going off into the unknown alone and that dealing with evil artifacts is never a good thing.

Adventures can be "one shot", that is a single story often taking just one night to complete or a "campaign", a series of linked stories. We have almost exclusively played campaigns that have lasted from a few weeks up to two years.

And to further bore you with just how nerdy D&D can be I will try to use our Present Campaign as an Example.

Setting: Xerxen Empire- Imagine a mix of ancient egypt with Aztec influences

Player Characters (PC's)

Nagash Snuchemet-  Born into a small noble household, Nagash was suddenly thrust into power with the assassination of his father and brother

Ixus Jinn- Born a slave and raised as a warrior, Ixus struggles with his place in the Empire, even as he defends it from it's enemies.

Kasikial Yodaman - Trained at the Prestigious Xenite Academy, his battle magic is powerful, but dwarfed by his tactical acumen.

Keefer - Spymaster to House Snuchmet and all around shady character.

These four characters are the latest to adventure in the Xerxen Empire, a campaign setting we came up with ourselves circa 1997.

Each Week we have played the Players have further refined who and what their characters are through storytelling. Sure there is dice rolling and the slaying of monsters and cultists, but the underlying truth is we are telling a shared story. So much so that I have began to give each evening's game a "Chapter" title

So far in the continuing adventures we have:
Chapter One: Welcome to the Neighborhood
Chapter Two: Dance, Dance, Dance Revolution
Chapter Three: How I learned to Love the Inquisition
Chapter Four: New Recruits
Chapter Five: That's a Terrible Idea!
Chapter Six: The Ancient Enemy or I Felt up a Goddess!
Chapter Seven: Devrie's is a Conspirator.

There is no "winning", there is always one more treasure chest to open, monster to slay, or bar maiden to be wooed. Technically, there is no losing either as one can always make up a new character. However the loss of a favored character can actually be somewhat hard as one puts an investment in it, especially if the character dies foolishly.


I could go on and on but I can tell with my Nerderific Powers that your eyes have glazed over, or if they haven't they soon will, so get ready for Part 2 of the Chronicles of Nerdom.